A couple of Christmas jokes...

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A couple of Christmas jokes...

Postby Critters » 12 Dec 2015, 15:46

I will apologise now......

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Little Molly Mandy was taken to see Santa in his Grotto. When her turn came she climbed up on Santa’s lap and sat there as good as gold. Santa asked “And have you been a good girl?” Molly Mandy smiled and said “Yes, Santa”. Santa said “And what would you like for Christmas?” Molly Mandy smiled and said “Please can I have Barbie with G.I. Joe, please?” Santa said “I thought Barbie comes with Ken”. Molly Mandy smiled and said “No Barbie comes with G.I. Joe, she only fakes it with Ken”.

A Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose.
"I think it's raining", he said to his wife.
"No, that felt more like snow to me", she replied.
"No, I'm sure it was just rain" he said.
Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a Communist Party official walking toward them.
"Let's not fight about it", the man said, "let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing".
As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"
"It's raining, of course", he replied, and walked on.
But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!", to which the man quietly replied:

Wait for it...................

"Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear".

Disclaimer: The above is probably bollox. If it sounds like advice or that I am knowledgeable, that is purely coincidental. Following anything suggested above may be detrimental to you health.
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